i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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