i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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