margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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