haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
