so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
