drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
