I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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