Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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