you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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