Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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