And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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