If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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