Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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