does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
