If i come over, it means nothing
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
