Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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