Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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