I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
even my farts smell like vagina
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
