Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
