Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just googled if crying burns calories
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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