he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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