I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
