she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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