she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
