Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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