you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just sent this text using only my big toe
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
