i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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