ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
