the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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