Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
