sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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