You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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