dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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