It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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