i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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