i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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