just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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