wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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