Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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