i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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