Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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