i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
