PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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