I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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