btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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