david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize