'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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