dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
