i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
