so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
