YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
