guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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