At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
