We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
