Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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