My cat gives me a boner
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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