I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
