i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
