OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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