I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
