Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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