What a fucking waste of an outfit
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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