the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
