I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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